Tired of chasing promotions, job opportunities, financial markets and be a Success in Life- here are a few steps for those who rather not…

1. Don’t let your boss dictate your schedule. Let him rearrange his needs around your time. Allow yourself the luxury of staying awake as long as you please. Sleep in until at least the afternoon to insure you are well rested.

2. Never finish any project you have started. If winners never quit, then losers never complete. Everyone expects you will fail anyway. Prove them right-so you can be in the wrong- where you belong. Put off until ‘whenever you feel like it’ what needed to be done yesterday.

3. Better yet- why even start? Tell your boss you plan to, but then just give up. That’s why you should never make project plans. No sense in putting yourself to all that trouble. Leave your work unfinished for the over achievers. Let them come in and clean up behind you.

4. Assume everyone is out to get you. All your problems stem from others trying to sabotage you. Always arrive late to work and for any meeting. If at all you arrive, Leave your job early and do not volunteer to stay after hours with the suckers.

5. Make promises you never intend to keep. Alienate all your co-workers from ever asking you a favor. They are neither as smart as you are or are ever going to amount to anything, so why bother?

6. Forget about saving for a rainy day. Spend as much money as you want. Why strive to get ahead when someone will only knock you back down? Accepting a chance for advancement is only an invitation to fail. Let the bozos climb up the ladder.

7. Forget about quiting the company. If the Boss has to fire you he will give you a severance package anyway. The world is full of fools. Someone, somewhere will hire you and pay you even more than what you are making.

8. Waste as much time as humanly possible. Delivering results on time won’t get you anywhere. While on a project do the bare minimum. Drop out of conference calls as soon as you can and never ask any follow up questions. Any attempt on your part to do a better job of the task on hand will lead to future expectations- so stay the way you are.

9. Blame all the bad luck that follows you on your education, VISA situation,Stock Market, Your Boss, Your Company and of course your spouse..but not yourself. Keep that chip on your shoulder- shiny and polished. Stick with the knowledge that everyone else is wrong and you are right.

10. Borrow money with no intention to pay it back. When anyone lends you anything- keep it- that’s what the fools get for trusting you. Pay your bills only when you are being threatened with foreclosure or disconnect. Rules are meant to be broken- do not worry with silly rules.

Now, get out there and show your Mother proof she was right. Be the best failure you can be! Wait a minute- that would make you good at something. Oh well, you probably failed to read all the rules.

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